Say WHAT?

(or Why I Spent 45 Minutes In The Card Aisle At KMart)

Matt had a birthday a little while back. Admittedly, I would've done better trying to find him a birthday card at a Christian bookstore, but since I didn't think of that in a timely fashion, that didn't work. (Buying a birthday card for someone special is kind of like getting your car inspected - you can only get it done the day before it's due, and you have one chance to get it right. That's the way it works, isn't it?) I had purchased his birthday present the week before, and hidden it in what I thought was an appropriately secure location (out in plain sight in the trunk of my car) but I didn't have a card. So there I stood in the card aisle at KMart. And that's when I discovered that there are very few appropriate cards in the world for Grownup Dating Couples With Morals.

There are lots of "husband" and "wife" cards. Not applicable.

Then there are the suggestive ones propositioning one's significant other for acts involving, say, cake frosting. Again, not applicable.

I never should have bothered opening the one with the dad from Family Guy on the front. 'Nuff said.

And then there are the ones that say something to the effect of "You Make Me Deliriously Happy 100% Of The Time." And though it sounds nice to say it, it's just not true. It's not reasonable to expect that of anyone.

In the end, I don't even remember what I did get, except that it seemed applicable, and they were giving the final "The store is now closed; please bring your final purchases to the checkout at this time" call.

There's a wide-open market here, folks. Or maybe I should just go back to making my own cards.