My name is Nicky. I am a dog. I had a difficult puppyhood. My litter was abandoned by the side of the road in a cardboard box when I was a baby. Then I lived in three homes, but everybody said "She's too much dog for us!" and then I would go for a car ride and never come home. I have been very, very afraid of the car for a long time. You get in that thing and you don't know if you are ever coming home! Mommy says I have "lots of issues."
But Mommy's family adopted me from the pound when I was ten months old. The people who worked at the pound said they were going to put me down if I didn't find a home soon. I thought a put-down was an insult and I don't know why that would have made a difference. Anyway, Mommy and her family took me home. I lived outside. Pretty soon Mommy was the only one who loved me but I still got to live at the farm, and even when Mommy moved away, she still came to visit. At the farm I got to sniff things and bark, and whenever I went for a walk I could put on a dab of my favorite perfume - the brown kind that is on the ground in the woods. Mmm....so delicious!
Last Saturday, Mommy and Matt came to the farm with Matt's truck. I went for a ride with Mommy. I was still really nervous. I know she has a little dog and I have seen that little dog get in and out of her car for years, and Little One keeps coming back. But I didn't know if we were going to a fun place. It WASN'T a fun place. Mommy put me in a big tub with a chain around my neck and washed me all over with something that smelled like apples. A kitty watched me have my bath. Then a strange lady cut my toenails. One of my dew claws bled. Mommy put a new collar on my neck and threw away the old one. She said it was "rank." Then Mommy paid the lady. I don't understand why Mommy had to pay the lady when Mommy was the one who did all the work.
After that, Mommy and Matt took me to the store. I got to go inside. They bought a bunch of stuff and a nice lady gave me a biscuit. Lots of people petted me and said I was well-behaved. Then we got back in the truck, but we didn't go home. We went to a house that I remember visiting once before. I didn't get to go inside that day, though. I just got to go on the porch. Mommy took me inside. I hadn't been inside anywhere in a long time.
Then things got confusing. Mommy and Matt put me in the cellar in a cage like the lions are in at the zoo. I'm not a lion! I was sitting next to a monster. It had lots of arms and legs and instead of eyes, it had a big round thing like a clock but with more numbers. It made funny noises all the time. I was scared of the monster.
Later, Mommy and Matt took me upstairs. They let me walk around in the TV room and the kitchen. They said "No!" a lot. I haven't heard my humans say that so much in a very long time. The worst part was Little One. She barked and growled right in my face and wanted to bite my neck. I suspect that she might be a vampire dog. She also sniffed my backside in ways that made me feel uncomfortable. One day, Little One ate all of her food and most of my food, and then later she threw up on the couch cushions. What a strange dog. Mommy and Matt yelled at Little One a lot too, and sometimes when she sniffs my backside they squirt her with a squirt bottle. I'm kind of confused about Little One. She gets to go in the dining room and right up the stairs with Mommy. I want to know what is up the stairs but no one will tell me.
Nighttime was very scary. I missed my doghouse. My new bed smelled like the Boscov's Auditorium and the monster kept making noises. I barked to let Mommy know I was scared. She let me go outside in the middle of the night to go potty. Then she told me I had to be quiet. She looked tired. She really needs to get more sleep at night.
The next day Matt came back. He made me stay in the TV room with him while Mommy went upstairs with Little One and took a nap. I tried really hard not to bark. I think my barking might make Mommy old before her time. After that Mommy said she felt better and that I was a good dog.
We go for lots of walks here. Sometimes Little One comes too. Whenever I poo on the sidewalk, Mommy gets out a bag and picks it up, and then she carries it home with us. Doesn't she know that's yucky? This is a strange place. We also get chased by dogs when we are walking. Why don't those dogs have to wear leashes? Mommy won't let me go anywhere without mine. Some of these dogs act like they want to be friends but some of them are mean.
I keep getting in trouble. Mommy left a bowlful of something delicious called garlic chicken out on the counter while she was eating leftovers one night. When she was giving flea medicine to Little One, I snuck over to the counter and ate some right out of the bowl. I chewed the binding off her leather work gloves that night, too. I don't understand why these were bad to chew. They were delicious. Last week Mommy's brother Trevor came to visit. He brought a nice lady named Brigette with him. He calls her his wife. I have seen her before. Yesterday I was barking in the morning and she yelled at me to be quiet. I have tried to be very nice to her since then.
So that is the story of my new home. I think I like it. I also heard something about Mommy's other brother betting her twenty bucks that she would make me come back to the farm and live in the doghouse. I hope she wins the bet because I know that Mommy is very careful with her money.
~Nicky
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